Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
