This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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