Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
