I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
