shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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