you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
