I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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