The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?