ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
