I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
