I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They have beer where we have blood.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
