Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
