dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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