Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
