Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
