the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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