The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
