For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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