Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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