'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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