she looked like the bat from fern gully.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Are we still banned from the library?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
tell me about the fingering
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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