i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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