But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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