nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
