Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
me + whiskey = a bad person
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
