And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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