The best revenge is premature balding
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
