well most of my day revolves around power hour
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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