if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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