It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're my little dorito
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
