Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
