does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
