I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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