Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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