Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize