Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
