You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
