I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
