just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
