no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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