did you get engaged???
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
