Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
