i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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