My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
