i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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