No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
