he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
soo... how was my night?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
