dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize