Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
