Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
