he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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