i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.