yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The uberlube is also flammable
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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