i only shaved half my leg
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW