All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again