If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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