how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
