we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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