i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
worst night to have a conscience
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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