My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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