My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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