Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
