Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
