I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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