Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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