I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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