so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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