Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
