Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
