3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
