I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
