My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
