We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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